the miscarriage rate for first-time mums, during the first trimester is alarming but i never thought i'd be set near it but today i grieve alongside one of my dearest fren who lost her 12-week old baby. I can only imagine the pain she is feeling, the loss she is experiencing... some say the pain is worse than labour itself and having to go through the whole confinement period w/o an actual birth or a baby, must be a nightmare!
my girlfrens probably see me as the defiant mom during my pregnancy - one who does not adhere to traditions & customs - i basically enjoy my pregnancy albeit was tough. i ate and did what i wanted, although never without uttering a prayer or clutching tight to faith and believing that God will keep me safe.
Pregnancy and childbirth are key milestones in a woman's life, a time where I believe, our faith is tested, and we are pushed up close to life and death.
it is unnatural, and unjustifiable for a parent to bury his child, regardless at the starry stage of 12 weeks, or 12 years.
all we can do is to pretend to be happy for our child, and believe that God really wants him/her to be amongst his angels and that there is a revelation that He is meaning to send to us, in time to come. We just have to manage with our loss the best we can and learn to move forward.
Personally for husband and I, we cannot imagine the death in us if anything were to happen to sofya. we pray that we be blessed with long family life, enough to set her to independence, enough to let her know how much we love her. She is far too young to understand loss, and we are too incapable to deal with loss, and we hope God hears our plea.
I am an optimist who thinks of the worst, so that i can better prepare myself and I just succumbed to tears and heartache at the thought of she leaving me, or me leaving her.
Death is not easy. Not yet dear God. Please.
