CRAZE

It's really been a while since i last updated this. Been terribly busy with new centres set-ups, whole new fresh branding and having to reason with a superior who is not inspiring, and i believe she herself is uninspired. That's work. Hugely stressing. Terribly exhausting.

Anyway, welcomed youngest nephew to my world last month. Lutfi Al-Khaleeq.

Adorable, and too bad I am too overwhelmed by fatigue to exchange more than one song to him. His arrival also meant i had to vacate my room for my sister's temporary (it better be!) stay. Seconded to the living room, and darling Fahmie (eldest nephew) kept me company. Sweetest boy!

Btw Fahmie is enjoying his birthday month (July) a lot! Got him the latest Clipo (it's a cooler version of Lego) and 2 Ben 10 figurines (he's gonna be surprised by a huge one which Adelene, my gal pal, is giving him tomorrow).

I love Ben 10. It's soo cool, and just because I am a girl, i am Gwen Tennyson, while the boys and himself got the super cool alien creatures. Himself is Diamond Head, Fahmie's Four Arms, and we all gave Hadi, XLR8 (cos he is super fast and extremely notti too!) Go watch Ben 10!

cleaning up. clearing up. for new lives

i had to clean up my ultra-messy room to make way for my sister who's gonna pop her baby like anytime soon, and also to prepare the other room for my other half, for our wedding this August (yippee!)

anyway, it's great clearing up the dust and cobwebs and what-nots. gives me a sense of relief, release throwing away items down the rubbish chute. While i threw away greetings and birthday cards from my past, i realised there are some things i cannot dispose of - even though i am gonna share the room my hubby-to-be soon.

Some pictures taken during trips with good old frens, the lovely phuket trip with Farl, Wadi & Is, the backpacking adventure with Is... i packed them all nicely into a box... not a secret stash but a momento package for me. We were so young then and so much joy and carefree!

Cleaning up also meant having to dispose off all the stuffs from creep(s) and lose all the skeletons in the closet. Gonna start a new life with him and the wardrobe's gotta be sparkling clean!

Memories of old times will be in my personal hard drive, and i will carve new fantastic ones with him in time to come.

Gonna welcome new baby nephew and lifelong partner soon. It's gonna be GREAT, i pray.

irksome

you know what? some people are really oblivious to others or they are just shameless.

let me tell you why?

i've got this girlfren, who WAS the most creative, wacky, fun-loving and really really fun to be with... the one who always jumps with delight (literally!) and really excited about things. However, since she got on with this guy, she is no longer any of the above. REALLY! Along came her boyfriend, and POOF! went her charisma. Now she is this docile, clampy, and really boring. As if that is not enough, her boyfriend (now fiance) tags along at every gathering that we have - despite them clearly spelt as ALL-GIRLS-ONLY!

i am happy that she finally found someone who will take care of her and all, but when he is starting to impose himself on us (and it's just his presence ok.. i am not going to the part when he starts to converse and is all cocky k) and takes away the very essence of what's so unique about my girlfren, i doubt he is the best for her.

and it's getting quite sad actually. it's getting quite depressing that each one of us are starting to sulk at every gathering at the sight of them now, and it's worse when our gf is blind to it.

i can't believe i give her the benefit of the doubt before her every arrival, betting with other frens on whether he will come along or not. and i keep losing my bet$. and i am a sore loser.

i want my gf back... the one who is the sweetest, and fun and everything that she used to be. Fond memories. I wasn't even very close to her, and I miss her much. I think the rest must be reeling.

humanity

Let's get back to reality and the very basic thing that sets us apart from animals - humanity.

Stop the war... the killing... we may look different but the colour of the blood that we shed is the same - crimson.

Withdraw the foreign troops and let the country breathe and stand on its own. And everyone, just breathe and seek solace and practice tolerance. We must no longer be at war with each other any longer. At the rate we are going, God might as well send one huge rock from the sky and wipe us out.

been to hell... and back

i was determined to be discharged the other time as the pain has subsided tremendously and it was getting pretty miserable being in the ward. ( i was beginning to cry every single day from Day 4 onwards then)

but once home, the pain was back and by the 3rd day it was so severe, we went back to the hospital at 2am.

this time round, it proved what my instincts told me - the kidney stone is still inside me.

surgery was planned and done, stone removed and now back home, i have a rubber stent in me to help the passage between the kidney and the urinary tract. i can feel the hose everytime i pee... could feel it expand and contract and i cannot dilly dally shld i feel like peeing as it will hurt the longer i try to hold it in.

i am feeling better although temperature keeps spiking at night which makes me even weaker and recovery slowed down. but i am determined to get better... for i kinda missed work, and before my boss starts clearing my desk. i just wish i can burp easily for my chest is hurting with all the air just wanting to get out... i can't burp, i can't sneeze cos it hurts my side... gosh!

to all my frens, thanks for the constant prayers and well wishes.

worst state of my life

been missing in action for awhile now... well, got hospitalised over the weekend for what was thought to be back pain, turned out to be severe blood infection as well as kidney stones.

was in for 8 days, poked over 40times for blood, drips etc... horrible, not to mention the constant pain i felt.

but being (very) sick made me realise how close God is, as well as family.

parents slept by my side (or Mom, rather) and when she wasn't able to for it was taking quite a toll on her, the boyfriend (yes! he is back) will be the one sleeping on the hospital floor, one hand on my bed.

Tell me how much more selfless and kind they can be. I am so touched and i thanked God every single day for opening my eyes wide, never mind the pain and misery.

SINGAPORE WINS!

while other bigger countries are grappling with their nation's troubles, this tiny island (or the tiny red dot as previosuly mocked by one neighbouring President) has won the bid to host the Youth Olympic Games 2010!

Isn't that SUPERB!

well... kewl!

and here's to 2 1/2 yrs of more developments and success! :)

BRAVO!

wedding

rahad came back for a super quick wedding reception... quite belated, i must say... over 1 yr past her actual ceremony.
we enjoyed ourselves, food was great and ambience.. well.. simple and normal, though it did get rather noisy towards the end...
as for the bride, she looked resplendent and she looks so settled down! *envious*

check out the pics via my facebook!

ushering in the yr of the rat

been a hectic first month of 2008.. having to juggle projects (and hoping to score a hatrick at the end of it), keeping my cool with senseless monster of a boss (which takes a lot of effort, and biting of the tongue to keep me from spewing vulgarities), and packing the loads from the dungeon in current office for the move to new office, all the way at forsaken Changi! (have i mentioned before that it is already a drag to go to wrk now... it's gona be a trying challenge to withstand the 45mins journey in the train to Changi! the train better be in tip-top condition... no more crappy faults, breakdowns... oh pls)

anyway, i hope it's gona be a great fengshui, mving in and settling down right before the Chinese New Year. And according to fengshui master, Lillian Tool (spell-check pse), the Yr of the Rat will prove to be great for me at wrk, social and love... although it's quite dim on the healthside... kinda beats it right if ur health is at risk. well, we'll see, we'll see.

i will just try to live and do as rightly as i can, and pray that all will not be so rough. :)

too busy? don't be...

Too Busy for a Friend...
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in VietNam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.' After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. 'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. 'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.' All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.' Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.' 'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary' Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists' That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

letters

i went to colbar just the other night and it's really the chillest place to hang out at! (colbar is this ancient coffeeshop that used to be located at Jln Hang Jebat... anyway, it's somewhere arnd wessex estate) The plus point about the "cafe" is that no one bugs u, the curry chicken is yummy and.. there is a book corner! anyone can borrow or park their "unwanted" books there... no rules about it, except that boring old computer manuals are banned...

btw, u noe how i choose most of my read? from the covers! the more colourful the cover, the more likely i will pick it up. ok... anyway, from the pile of yellow-ing books, i one that looks kinda new and interesting - Feeling Sorry for Celia. And i tell you, it's GREAT! i finished the book in just one day! and now, i think i will do what the protagonist's mum does to her - write notes and paste all over the house for her to read! (they have this weird relationship where the mom is occupied with everything else but her daughter, and Lizzy is this perfect daughter who goes to a nice private school... etc etc) Anyway, the story is told not in the usual way, but via letters... letters from Lizzy to her best fren, her mom and vice versa, and letters to Lizzy from "The Association of Teenagers", "The Association of Creative Correspondents" and even "The SOciety of People Who Will Fail in High School (and most probably Life as well)"... just read it & you'll find it funny too.. i am bad at this.

anyway, the book inspires me to write to my [future] daughter. and one of the notes will sound like this...

[name of daughter] !!! [smiley]
i hope you are home as I expect you to be... i am away at work and will be stuck in a meeting. before you embark on your important homework, which must be done in due diligence, do grab the laundry and dump them into the machine for a speed wash. as for lunch, i have cooked rice for you, although the broccoli and carrots will need to be boiled. I think you might like to have creamy mushroom basil salmon so i have opened up the recipe book and ingredients are in the fridge. Just follow the instructions and voila! Have fun with your lunch! I am sure it's gonna be great!

p/s: what do you think of my new red shoes? [polaroid attached] Lovely huh?
p/ss: I might be home late tonight as i think i will need to grab a matching bag to go along with the new shoes
p/sss: dad will be home late too, as i am bringing him along to pay for the bag [smiley]
p/ssss: don't forget to hang the clothes, once machine is done! [smiley]

love,
your mum (who adores you so much)
[and i am sure dad loves you loads too!]

saying goodbye

it's hard to part with someone whom you hold so dearly... and more often than not, i cannot do the "tear old photos-delete number" regime. I just can't. And although harsh words may have been uttered, words so bad they can just pull you down, you just cannot let go of the great wonderful times that was shared before.

i know that i cannot forget, but i can forgive, and with that i know i can move on. i just hope i will move on good, and not re-gress.

i am not saying goodbye yet. not yet.

wanting the material, needing the immaterial

who doesnt enjoy being pampered? the kate spade bags, the tod's shoes, the hermes scarf & the ubiquitous LV-anything... all things material makes the outlook all splendid but if you do not have the very important essence in life, all the luxuries are just - BAH!

if your partner is insincere, or just giving you all these ka-ching stuffs to substitute his non-existence, then i think they just end up being just them - inanimate things. fashion items i could easily chuck aside, and just be passe at the next fashion season.

we might be bewildered by some people's life choices, but i know that i do not want my happiness to be just a brand, albeit that Prada bag does look great hanging from my arm...

i want sincerity, i want time, i want my man to be with me... not @ my beck & call, but really, truthfully, want me and be with me.

spare me those items... i do not need them.

rindu.sayang.

kadang2 org yg kita sayangi, tak semestinya bersama dgn kita.

kalau rindu, pejamkan matamu dan aku akan berada disisimu.

busy bee

i was quite excited to be back at wrk and looking forward to a great year ahead but my mgr had to kinda spoil it.

but i shall not give her publicity here...writing abt her will make me think more of her! *eew*

anyway, gona be darn bz the next few months with 3 centres opening all at the same time... and the fact that i have to pack my stuffs to move to Changi! aargh! i dread the move! imagine having to travel from Jurong to Changi, and at the same time be at the beck and call of the 3 new centres! gosh!

but, the move to Changi will also spur me on to run... cos Nike Singapore is right beside us!

p/s: did not do the scheduled run the past couple of days... :( but @ the same time i havent been eating.. so kinda lighter now, i think? *hehe*

p/s2: the gals have yet to call me... watever *roll eyes*

bad day

did not run today. clouds are grey above me. i am sulking away. bad day.

"each man kills the thing he loves" -- Oscar Wilde

dancing thru the new yr... with nimble steps

the celebration counting down to the new year was celebrated like every other typical city - in a club, surrounded by people who mean nothing to you... but i had a great time tho! I don't remember ever truely and thoroughly perspired myself dancing for 2hrs straight to the last 10-sec countdown.

oh ya! the Coach bag guy came down at 3am+... 3hrs late but nonetheless... ooh! he sure is into me! i have nvr partied with a love interest and it was great (albeit i have to get myself attuned to the trance tunes which he prefers so much! --> how can anyone not be able to dance to hip hop man! gosh! clash! but well... *shrugs*)

yes... i had a blast and my ears are still ringing from the loud music from the morning's revelry. one downside though --> i just wished my gfs did not suddenly snub me... that was a foul end to an otherwise great outing. snubbing a (gd) fren for no reason (or even if i had offended them) and out of the blue is totally rude. TOTALLY. i saw the bitches in them in a split second, something which i know they were capable of but dread to see it ever materialise. i noe maybe it cld be the stupid blister hampering zoobz, or something with niza's guy, or me myself being insensitive... and it is so painful putting this down but i gotta let MY STEAM out...and i wanna send a shout-out to myself for keeping my cool.

and today is DAY ONE of towards the achievement of the resolution - the Standard Chartered Marathon 2008. i puffed through 20mins of run... i shall persevere and run 30mins straight tmrw. I will i will i will! :)


Happy New Year all! God Bless.

p/s: oh yah! met the 2 cuties - our Sg idols... looking all hyped up @ 5am... and Fik, you can really dance nimbly and very usher-like, despite it being a trance room... haha! the hotties... *sigh*