heart vs mind

a conversation with a fren recently sparked this. u noe how everyone has their own personal take and opinions, and actions on everything, and no matter how close you are with your fren, and how deep you think you noe him/her, u realise that there's always something fresh, something alien that will be revealed.

well, i thought i knew this gf of mine but boy oh boy! the skeletons in her closet are a gold mine to any forensic scientist man! the amt of new info, whoa! and i thought i m the split personality one!

ok... anyway, back to the pt i was TRYING to make...

i was telling her abt how i will never compromise another person's relationship by being the 3rd party, and how i will nvr be the one to step in and wreck a relationship for it wasn't mine to begin with ie. i m no homewrecker etc.

how everything has to be a conscious decision, even though your heart is telling you otherwise.. how the brain takes over the heart and whatever decision made must be an informed one.

let's say someone of the opposite sex is interested in you and you are interested in him/her as well, and as things progress, you get all these numbing, feel-good emotions running amok, and tht how the world just spins arnd u ie. love.

but then, when all is still glittery, the truth starts to creep in... that your partner is actually attached. do you (a) break it off (b) fight for him/her?

I pick (a). why? despite knowing that i deeply feel for him, and how interested and into him, it is not right. I could stay and confront him and make him choose... but i wouldn't. I could pursue him, and prove to him i am the one, and that no one will want him as much as i do, but i wouldn't because i don't know what he has uttered to the other girl. what he has promised her. and his relationship with her is not mine to break. The misery of being left for another person, right under ur nose, is tremendous, for i had felt it before. I never want to feel that same misery again, and neither do i want to cause that misery on another girl. so, leaving him is the right thing to do. It may make me pine for him, but at least i know that i had done at least one thing right in my life. If he is into me enough, he will break it off with her, and hope that he will pick me. choose me. love me. but the latter did not happen, but did i die? no... i cld move on and find someone else.

my fren picked (b). she is so emotionally driven, that she will drop everything and pursue the guy. and do the things i won't do... fulfill the longing of the heart. tell the guy to pick her. choose her. love her.

frankly, with every conscious and morally correct decision, the "what ifs" will creep in every now and then... but i always assure myself that what goes arnd comes arnd. and i make sure that i will live my life as rightly as i know how, at that point of time. and of cos, when things fail, just dust yourself off, wallow in self-pity for 2 minutes, clean up yourself and hold your head high. and realise that we can only plan, but it's God's will that will ascertain things. just learn from the past, and the next decision be a better one... cos when you know better, you do better.

and when relationships and people come into play, just know that he/she is not the only one in the world. God makes a partner for every one of us, but it's a matter of when/how that you meet the person.

And frankly, even if that person isn't the love of your life, be thankful for God has created and brought this person into your life, who loves you for who you are, for all your foibles, for all your faults and handicap. A decision that is morally right, must not be seen as a sacrifice, but rather a learning tool for you to deepen your heart.

Of cos, the best is to find the mid-point to both - where the heart and mind reaches a consensus. An ideal situation which is not always achievable. oh well ... ... anyway, if you are in a rut to choose who to be with, just don't forget to give the proper closure to the rejected one so that he/she will not be demoralised and can really move on. and thank him/her for all the love/care that he/she has showered upon u.

but on the other hand, if you are the one who has to back off, tell the guy/gal that you do not regret giving him/her your love and sincerely wish him all the happiness, and may the other party be the right one for him. walk away with your head high.

may He shine his light upon us, and guide us. God Bless.