if monday was bad, tuesday was worse

didn't write ystdy as i was down with diarrhoea... so bad that my ribs hurt. and i cannot laugh still...
to top it off, what was supposed to be a stay-home-and-recuperate day with the boyfriend turned out to be quite an eventful day instead... much to my dismay.
since he drives, i accompanied him to run his errands... send his handphone for repair (for the 2nd time... different hp model though but still! Sony Ericsson shld really improve its customer service counter and its handphones! there are so many ppl reporting faults! took us abt 1.5hrs for a 5min service lor!)
anyway, as if we are not bored enuf, the boyfriend had to misplace my purse. and it was just 5mins from the time we left the shop to the time when we realised he left it behind and kaput! the purse is gone! and the shop assistants weren't helpful... neither is the whole shopping centre! if i have thousands of dollars in there, i understand. if the purse is LV or Coach or something, i understand. but i've got only like $4 left... the thief cannot even access the atm and credit cards also wat! or maybe the lao-kok-kok purse and the rare $1 brunei note (which i have been keeping with the hope i will nvr be broke.. but alas!) is a must-have for the thief.
it's gonna take me my lunch hr today to replace my atm cards (from 2 banks!!!! ugh!) and another day to ICA to replace my IC! $100 gone for the pink card! ugh!!! some more must take nice nice picture... luckily the bank will be mailing the credit cards... but i need to shop! ugh!!
so the guilty boyfriend said that i can get the longchamp purse i've always wanted to appease me... (cos i said, looking on the bright side, i will have a new IC with a better photo, and a new purse!)... maybe i'll get the kate spade one instead... and make him pay for it.
nonetheless, i miss my lao-kok-kok purse and its contents. but i am resigned to it.

and as if the day wasn't bad enough, the mother of the boyfriend had to spout some cutting nonsense abt me. can everyone just leave us alone!?! can't she understand that the love he has for her, is not the same love he has for me? and pls... we were together way before he has the car (and i get free rides on the train and bus leh... so do i care?) and does she think he can survive all on his own? what with her asking for half his pay (cos she don't want to ask more from the other 2 older bros), the incessant miscellanous requests to buy food, her medical expenses etc etc... so the clothes he has on his back, the food, the petrol etc.. things for him... who will bother about? ME!

so i will give her the airtime and let her carry on with her crap cos it's better i grit my teeth than hurt the boyfriend. cos he is hurt by her enuf. wen i grumbled, i realised that he is the one who is torn. and it is not gd to do that someone. karma.

ppl can say wat they want to say but i cannot afford to lose the boyfriend again... been together, broke up for more than a yr and now, this is it.

the thot of breaking up, is heart-wrenching... for he is my partner, my best fren. i doubt anyone will love me as much as him, and care for me like he does... and i will be all alone... i mite end up like berta (the character in the devil & ms prym - paulo coelho) she misses her dead husband so much that she tries to hard to be with him in spirit... cooping up in her house for years, until her dead husband appears in spirit... she cannot see him, but at least she feels him and they have conversations... i don't want to end up like that. misery is bad. i need to be alive and smile and he is the reason why i am able to smile ( besides my wonderful gfs la... i need a man leh!)

but i foresee there will be more trouble to come. me and the boyfriend actually thot of scenarios of how the future will get better but no matter how much we wreck our brains, we realised things will only be as bad or worse. so we made a pact... that we will remind each other how dedicated we are to make this work and that the love we have shld be strong enuf to withstand the crap.

can somebody up there be on my side and let me get through this with blessings? Or if this is not meant to work, give me a sign! And bless me with patience so that hopefully, i will get through this w/o going crazy.